And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
