Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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