if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
