i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
