after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
