Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize