i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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