you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
