i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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