just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
