My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
