Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
