He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
