I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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