Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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