thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize