I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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