God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
