i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
