dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
