I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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