Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
