i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
