why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
