I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize