This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
