what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize