my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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