Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize