im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
