I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
