Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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