I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
