what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
