I hate all girls vehemently.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
