Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
