God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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