C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize