did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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