Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
