I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
