the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
