it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
