I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
