sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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