Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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