Cold hands, warm shart.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
