I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
