he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
