So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
