the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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