My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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