Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
