Who did Billy Mays play for?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
