Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I will die if light touches me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
