yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
