Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
