You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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