A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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