Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
