K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
