Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize