Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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