Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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