You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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