i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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